There was no All in for allen shirt escape from each other; no hiding behind the kids and this was a good thing. But, -and here I’m going to be brutally honest-, I’m supremely happy that I did not pass along all the anger and resentment that I grew up with. I was emotionally not ready to be a father. Any time I’ve taken over the years for self healing would have gone into raising kids and they would have felt my irrational wrath and carried it with them to pass along to the next generation. I no longer carry that burden so when I interact with young people I can be helpful, not detrimental to their well being. Raubal survived the war. While almost every teenager makes an effort to fit in, Palo Alto doesn’t really have popular kids. They do however, worry about not being smart enough being a nerd is cool here! Sure, we live in an area where people make a lot of money, but every single one of those people worked hard for their money.
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Living in Palo Alto may have influenced us to All in for allen shirt like nice things, but it’s also influenced us to pursue our dreams. I’m almost positive that every one of my friends would choose to work (even if they didn’t need to), because we’re ambitious people. We have huge career goals for ourselves and we will stop nowhere short of accomplishing them. Not every teenager gets their own iPhone and laptop, but at the same time, the average teenager comes nowhere near to exhibiting the level of hard work and dedication that a Palo Alto teen does. Most people surrounding you are very smart and educated. Kids that grow up here have very high educational standards. They strive to be the very best, and while many times that leads to unbearable stress, it also leads to incredibly innovative and intelligent teenagers. This is especially true for people interested in STEM based jobs. Plenty teens have internships at UCSF and Stanford. There are also plenty of other programs in the area; Stanford has a few summer programs and internship availabilities for teens interested in scientific research and medicine.
Silicon Valley is also very active and many kids participate in club sports. They’re so caught up in getting As that they have no clue what makes them happy. Most of the students here don’t even have real friends; Most of these students don’t have many (if any) real friends, because how can you be friends with someone you’re competing against?
Now I am finally recovered, I’d love to be working or to start a business with my craft, but I’d need to rent a shop or buy a shed to work in and that requires money. I have been trying to save, but despite my frugal lifestyle have not saved a penny yet. I’m still usually down to zero by the end of each month. This provides the parent with power, control, adoration and admiration, validation, attention and servitude! They can behave without restraint and there is no accountability. Their children cannot leave and will still love them and perceive them as omnipotent! They control every aspect of their children’s lives. No one gets past them to influence, enlighten, support, comfort. indulge, advise or bond with their child. They won’t allow it! They are the sole force in their children’s lives. Having children ensures that their spouses will stay at least until the children are older or the narcissist decides to discard them. It also places them in a virtuous role/position. People admire families, especially those who appear ‘close’. Narcissists are masters at creating appearances. Publicly they get a lot of attention from strangers as well as acquaintances. People compliment what great parents and adorable kids they are. At home the child emotional needs, opinions, requests, preferences and interests are completely disregarded especially when they conflict with their narcissistic parents agenda. Narcissists don’t feel so much as a twinge of guilt in denying their children something of great importance to the child. They are only thinking of what they want and what is best for themselves. Their whole image as a parent and constant flow of narcissistic supply as well as their children’s devotion , admiration, loyalty, and obedience causes them to believe that they love and adore their children. In reality their children are tools. Their hyper focus and vigilant, ‘care’ of their children could be compared to a genie in a lamp…as long as the genie keeps granting your wishes, you are going to take damn good care of that lamp! No one is going to get their hands on your lamp and get benefits from it!
This brings me to the next point…when their children reach adolescence and are trying to establish their autonomy, are capable of taking care of themselves and have seen the contrast between their narcissistic parent and ‘normal’ parents, the narcissist loses control of their children. All hell breaks loose! This is when affairs and divorces are likely to occur. Their children are the antithesis of narcissistic supply! Narcissists don’t mine for supply where there is little or none. They will rage at their children and make outrageous threats to regain control. There is little ‘doting’ and ‘adoration’ anymore! This is not love! Students in the US go to school for about 7 hours a day. That’s a lot of hours for elementary school kids. My child is in a public school now, and she comes home with 1 page of homework a night, and it’s usually math. No homework on Fri and the weekend. Once in a while, she has a test to study for, and she usually has a week to study. They do all their writings, science, and social study projects in school.