They don’t have the Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store shirt ability to love their children, so they will only give out conditional love, like when you are succeeding in something or when they can brag about you to their friends. That’s when they’ll show you love and affection, but the minute you do something that embarrasses them or rebel against them, they will cut off your supply of love completely. They’ll give you the silent treatment and might even do underhanded things to get you back. You constantly feel like you have to make everyone happy in order to earn love. The sense of shame is always there inside of you, making you feel like you’re not good enough. Narcissists see their children not as individuals but as extensions of themselves, so they see their children as their property.
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They don’t see their child as a thinking human being that deserves privacy and Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store shirt respect. So a narcissistic parent will always cross your boundaries, and that includes buzzing into your room without knocking, not respecting your privacy in the bathroom and so forth. You can imagine what goes on in the mind of a teenage girl when her mother forces her to take a virginity test in order to prove her sexual inactivity.
When mothers look at their daughters, they see youth, they see beauty and so a normal mother would want to nurture that and help that flourish and grow. But a narcissistic mother is jealous and will actively try to destroy her daughter’s self-esteem, even competing with her. Narcissistic mothers especially are in competition with their kids the minute the child is born. If someone pays more attention to the child than her, she will resent the child. Narcissistic fathers may become extremely jealous when the children are growing up and start seeking independence. When their son or daughter start romantic relationships, the partner is never good enough for their narcissistic parent. When you start thinking for yourself and stop asking their validation, they start bullying you.